Better late than never

I just finished cleaning my fridge. I know, it was overdue – but hey, read the title of this post.

Hubs must agree with me, because he came in today and said "Oh, you are cleaning" in a "That's a pleasant surprise" tone (in fact, most of my cleaning gets done during the hour before my husband gets home from work). "Yes, I'm cleaning the fridge" I replied, without looking up, then added "and I'm re-organizing the shelves, just so you know" and turned to look at him. I could sense a "uh-oh" – he avoided my gaze and walked over to Sarah to decorate the cookies they made on Sunday. He hates it when I re-organize. Not hate the result, hate how neurotic I get about keeping it that way. But hey, who wants to do all that work just to see it messed up like it happens to everything else? (which, by the way, is one of the reasons why I hate household chores – they just don't STAY done)

Later on, I showed him the newly-cleaned and organized fridge. "Ooh, nice!" he said, closing it quickly, no doubt trying to avoid me illustrating the new system. Fat chance. I re-opened it, explained him where everything went, while he nodded and rolled his eyes. When I caught the eye rolling I stopped and asked: "Are you going to remember this, or should I make you a flowchart?" Someone else might have laughed. But my husband, knowing I am perfectly capable of doing that, said "No, it's ok" and then quickly left the room, supposedly to go say hi to Stella, but most likely just trying to avoid more fridge talk. I'm onto him.

What about you? I know I couldn't be the only neurotic one. Come on, 'fess up.

Slow-start routine.

This morning I read a post on a lovely blog, The Inspired Room. Have you ever heard a more perfect title for a home-decor blog? I don't think I have. The last post on the blog is titled "The Five Minute
Jump Start the Day Routine" and it outlines the 5-minute routine Melissa goes through every day to start her day on the right foot: make the bed, open the shades, turn off the porch lights, unload the dishwasher. She does this every morning, no fail. No wonder she has a blog about keeping house and I have one about... well, not keeping house.

It's not like I don't have any aspirations as far as my house goes! I do love decorating, the clothes hanging in my closet are organized by color and my shoes are all in clearly labeled fabric shoe boxes. Also, my spices are organized in alphabetical order. But that's more or less where it ends. I'm a messy organizing freak, which means I get all excited at the idea of alphabetizing and organizing minutiae but loading the dishwasher and vacuuming is about as much housework as I can tolerate in one go. (I am awesome at emergency cleaning, though.)

Here's how my ideal Jumpstart morning routine goes:
- I get up at 5.30
- by the time the alarm clock goes off for the rest of the family, I have already exercised and showered
- I get Sarah ready for school and make everybody breakfast
- I clean up the kitchen and start the dishwasher
and most importantly, in this scenario I don't go near the computer until Stella is down for her nap, around lunch time.

Now, you have to remember that's all in my head. Here's how the real morning routine goes:
- 6.30am, alarm clock goes off, I wake up and find Stella in my bed. Try to remember how she ended up there. Oh, yeah, that was the 5th time she woke up. Ok.
- get Sarah up, make her breakfast, keep saying "get dressed, brush your teeth, comb your hair, (etc)" until she gets through the morning routine and is ready to go. See her off.
- drink water. Sit at pc, check e-mail while I wait for Stella to wake up.
- make Stella breakfast, cuddle, have breakfast, tweet, blog or read fave blogs.
- sooner or later, load dishwasher.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking. So close.

Cleaning flu – ehm... fever

Forget the flu, and forget the fact that last night, for the first time in a week, I actually slept (like a stone, thanks to Nyquil – which is also to thank for my current hangover), but haven't quite made up for the rest of the week.
Forget the fact that I'll be taking Sarah to dance class this afternoon, and that I still have to workout how to get her home from her afternoon classes on Tuesdays, and have to finalize the Thanksgiving menu so I can make the weekly shopping list, and have to finish my "Cool Finds of the Month" post and decide exactly what to get for my dad for Christmas so I don't have to brave the holiday madness that takes over every online and real-world store after Thanksgiving.

Yes, forget all that. Because today I am starting my home makeover. No, I don't mean that I will be re-decorating every room and picking new fabrics and so on (although that would be fabulous, I love interior decorating) – no, I mean I plan on changing my home into a place where anyone can show up, any day, any time, and I can let them in without melting in shame at the sight of the mess everywhere, until I am reduced to a little puddle on the floor like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz.

Of course I've already made one fatal mistake, the same I make when starting a new diet: unrealistic expectations. But isn't is the dream of every organizing freak to have a house like that? A house where everything has its place and can be found immediately when needed, rather than having to be tracked down? A house where you can have unexpected guests at any time, and give them a tour of the house if the ask (or even if they don't ask but expect it, like in Switzerland) without having to lock and bolt the doors of the rooms where you stashed all the mess you took away from the rooms that are now somewhat presentable? No? Just me then?

Ok, fine. But still. I don't need the house to be magazine-worthy, but I would like the unexpected-guest thing. So instead of chosing one of the very very many self-help books for failed housewives available on Amazon, I chose to use the guide Simple Mom wrote. Afterall, "Spring Cleaning for Normal People" sounds like the right thing. I'm pretty sure I fall in the category of "normal people" despite my being kind of neurotic (yeah, I do know I said 'kind of'). And Simple Mom, like me, has experienced moving overseas with the family. (Yeah, I know I was messy before that. I'm just milking it. Try to keep up.)

So today I am starting with her guide. Ideally, I'd have a presentable house by Thanksgiving without having to kill myself doing the marathon-cleaning thing.

Yes, I am starting. Soon. Just as soon as I've checked my e-mail. And maybe had a cup of tea and watched Will & Grace. No, I am not procrastinating again! And if I am, it's just because typing this, trying to be all reasonable... it's actually killed my buzz. I know I can spark it up again if I make myself a cup of tea and start reading SCFNP again. Yes. That's what I'll do. And I promise to keep you posted on my progress. But I'm going to make tea now, so don't hold your breath. I live in Westchester, you know, I don't have to do things in a New York minute.

Never too late for resolutions (and for chocolate, but that's for another post)

Tomorrow officially marks the last 100 days of 2008. Do you know what that means? That procrastinators, organizing freaks and and generally crazed moms with didn't-get-a-single-thing-done syndrome like myself will have a second chance to get some of those New Year's Resolutions done. Afterall, "the last 100 days of the year" does sound like one of those things that call for a new beginning of sorts, doesn't it? Like a brand new journal, or a wake-up call from the bathroom scale. Bittersweet, I know.

So this calls for goals. And a list. A list of goals. Is there anything more exciting? ("yes, plenty" is probably your response - however please consider that I am a SAHM with too little social interaction and an annoying penchant for lists).

So, let's proceed. This is what I want to accomplish in the next 100 days, before the year is over:
1. I want to Spring Clean my house and rejoyce in it's clutter-free beauty (oh, I am about to break into song), and then possibly keep it reasonably clean and tidy. Will that get me kicked out of The Undomestic Goddess? Will I have to change my blog title? Hah! Come on. Even in the improbable scenario where I actually manage to become more proficient at housework, I doubt that I could ever come close to feeling comfortable sharing my home accomplishments with Martha Stewart.

2. I want to make exercise a daily habit again. Does that qualify as a SMART goal you think? Or should I say whether I'll be doing the TransFirmation series or yoga any given day?

3. I want to potty train Stella. No additional details required, I believe. Just wish me good luck.

4. I want to get my NY driver's license. (I can hear gasps and giggles.) Finally, right?


And how am I going to do the above, you ask? Well, getting off the pc would probably be a good start. Ha! fat chance. In fact, perhaps I should add "getting over my pc addiction" to the list. Who am I kidding? That's going to take WAY longer than 100 days.

What would you like to accomplish before the year is over? Feel free to share in the comment section - and if you want to keep inspired (and maybe get someone else inspired!) feel free to grab this button.

<br /><a href="http://unlikelyhousewife.blogspot.com/2008/09/second-chance-delight.html" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Be inspired: join the 100-Day Challenge!" src="http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a388/ElyMom/blog%20stuff/100-days_125.jpg"/></a><br />

Decòr me gorgeous, said the room

I am pretty sure we can all agree on one thing: by now we have fully established that I don't like household chores.

But boy, do I love trying my hand (and hubby's patience) at interior decòr. Nothing is more fun than picking the right pillows, paintings and accessories to create an entirely new look in your living room. Or picking all new bedding, shams, curtains and prints to give a fresh look to your master bedroom. It's just so fun!

I play it cool, but I secretly harbor a wish to decorate my house like the rooms you see on the pages of a Pottery Barn catalog. Sure, sometimes they look a little too perfect, and I prefer a more "lived in" style - something that won't make your guests stand around because they are afraid of smushing the sofa pillows. And sometimes it's a little too Town and Country, which is so not me.

But other times there will be this room, or just a shot of a corner of a room, and it conveys such casual comfort with a few beautiful pieces, I wish I could just jump into the page and sit on that armchair, and look out that window.

Of course I could always run out and buy a whole bunch of new furniture and duplicate the room in the picture, kind of like what Rachel did in that episode of Friends. But I would obviously regret it and be ashamed of it - plus I was lying, I can't really just go out and buy a whole bunch of furniture, my husband would have a cow.

Which leaves two options as far as I'm concerned: creating virtual rooms and creating real rooms with mix-and-match pieces.

Creating virtual rooms is great because you feel like you are actually shopping for your favorite pieces but you don't accumulate stuff, don't spend a dime and you reserve the right to change your mind as many times as you like; and all while getting some great ideas for the time when you can actually redecorate. My favorite places to do this is Shopstyle Living, where you can save pieces you like and then compose virtual rooms to save in your stylebook - and even join groups and share your creations with others.

But when you are ready to actually redecorate, don't just buy a bunch of stuff you like - I mean you can do that, but what you had in mind might not actually translate well into your space.

If you already specific piece of furniture in mind, make sure you get the right shapes and sizes by using the HGTV Room Planner.

Once you have your furniture, accessorize with things from a bunch of different places, and don't be afraid to explore stores that you normally don't look into. An unexpected detail can give them room more personality. For instance, West Elm furniture feels a little cold and too minimal for me, but I think they have some really cute pillows and vases.

Also, don't think you will need a huge budget to redecorate a room: you can give a new look to a room by just getting new accessories. I just fell in love with this Target commercial for that reason (and for the cool music and dancing, of course):


Don't forget to scour the web for interesting details to add to your room, to change it from run-of-the mill to one of a kind! Here are some:
- Kanibal Home features redesigned and reupholstered salvaged furniture, limited edition pillows, wall art and restored found objects, among others. Their selection is really random, so if you don't find anything you like the first time you visit, keep checking every now and then because they post new items often, and they feature a wide variety of styles.
- Mothology features some great vintage-inspired decorative objects and furnishings.
- UncommonGoods also features some interesting items in their Home Decor section (and on the rest of their site!)

and then there's Etsy, of course. Just look up whatever it is you need and you'll find a large selection in different styles, colors, materials and prices. Here are a few cool stores I found by searching for "pillows":
- Greenroom
- Eliza Leigh (I love her Dressmaker and Runway pillows!)
- Paris Buildings on Helena Carrington's shop
- Flowers and Dots on Couch Design (I love how this pattern looks mode and art deco at once)
- the Bella Pillow on JKHill Designs

These of course are things I like, but there's really something for everybody and every taste on Etsy.

Ah, yes - I love interior decorating.

So imagine my joy when I went to vote for some friends' blogs on Divine Caroline's Blog Awards and found some amazing decorating blogs in the Home & Food category! There are some real pearls there.

Do you like decorating? Do you have a favorite site, store or inspiration? Feel free to share your decorating secrets.


P.S. If you are trying to figure out what your decorating style is, take the "What's your design style?" quiz at MyDeco.

SELF is neurotic too

The latest issue of SELF magazine has been sitting on the kitchen table for over a week. This is highly unusual, since I am constantly looking for something to read, and I love getting my magazines, because it's like a surprise every time I get one.
Ok, I'm not slow, I realize if I am subscribed they come every month, but I like getting stuff in the mail, it's the adult version of the "Santa was here!" thing, I guess: you know he's coming, but it's still really exciting when you see the presents.

Anyway, so it's been sitting there for a week, in part because I already had something to read which I was really enjoying, in part maybe because with my father visiting we have been indulging a bit more than usual in rich foods and I didn't feel like being reminded of what I should really be eating because that would send me on a guilt trip. And I think part of it is also that this year I have subscribed to way too many magazines: part was my doing, but some I got for free, like Home, Parenting, Shape. Except I also get InStyle and Self, and my husband is subscribed to Entertainment Weekly. So now we no longer place magazines in the mail basket but on the kitchen console, and there is a pile of stuff to be read from when we were gone this summer. And now I am feeling... not eco-friendly at all.

But I digress: this morning at breakfast I finally opened SELF (which this month came with a copy of Fashion Rocks) and below Jennifer Lopez (who is remarkable good shape - didn't she just have twins?) I saw it: "The list issue" it said, with a check mark next to the title. "This should be good" I thought. Because really, I love nothing better than a nice list - it makes you feel like you have things under control and know exactly what is going on and what to do next. Of course in my case the stuff on the list doesn't always get done. In fact I am almost scared of making lists now. It's almost as if I am jinxing it by writing it down.

I am not the only one though: Kelly loves lists too - check out one of her Listy McListerson posts. Ah, it feels so good to know I am not alone. In fact, I'm not even the most neurotic. Check out this website and tell me. I mean WOW. *index finger twirls near temple* See? I'm not so bad afterall.

Alert: messy mom tainting the gene pool???

Disclaimer: if you are expecting a light, funny post, you might be disappointed. But if you are all for rants and the right to different parenting styles, read on.

My dad is visiting. As it always happens when my dad is around, we talk about stuff, our opinions on stuff, or disagreements on stuff. Stuff that is mostly generic, so that noone gets hurt or feels criticized. That changed today.

We were talking about stuff. We got to talking about my mom. Note: I don't have the easiest relationship with my mom - more on that maybe later. But a summary is: we love each other, but she is kind of controlling and judgmental and I, a grown woman who has traveled lots and left home at 17 and is now married (have been for 11 years) and has two children and leaves far away from home - I, for some reason, still care deeply about what my mom thinks of me. I don't look for her approval, but her critics hurt me. To be fair, she can be kind of harsh. And most of you will agree with me that a critic touches you more when your own mom is making it. My dad, on the other hand, is usually pretty mellow and diplomatic and takes things very lightly (which explains why he handles my mom's criticism better than I do).

Anyway, so we got around to talking about my mom. He had mentioned before that she was concerned that we didn't enjoy spending time with them (my parents). I said that it wasn't true, but that if sometimes I'm tense its because I feel judged very often when I ma with her. He said it's not that, it's that sometimes she doesn't know how to tell me things without making me mad (I get upset when I'm hurt, so sue me) and I said that I've never established taboo topics, so I wasn't sure what he was referring to.

Should NEVER have done that.

Can open. Worms everywhere.

This apparently was interpreted as my go-ahead for a diatribe about how messy I am, and how this negatively affects my family, and how my toddler is out of control because she is allowed to make a mess everywhere (like she ever asks for permission). Come again?

At first I thought this was still a light discussion. Oh how wrong I was. When I tried to make a joke about Stella being too fast for me to keep up, he made a few remarks that made it very clear that we were very much past a light discussion. We were already in full-blown parental-lesson-turned-reprimand and now-I'll-talk-and-you'll-listen mode. Once the dam was open, it seemed impossible to close it. And I started feeling like I would actually need to hire a lawyer.

Here's a summary of our discussion:

Him: You are messy and your daughters are getting used to being messy and you are setting a poor example and doing a disservice to your family. And what is worse you don't even seem to care because instead of spending your time tiding up you play or read or stuff like that.

Me: Yeah, I do that. Sometimes. Because I have decided that as long as I do a certain amount of cleaning up daily it's ok, and I have accepted that as long as I have young children at home my house will never be perfect. But it's not like we are tripping on banana peels on the floor or anything.

Him: You have given up on getting the house in order and your family picks it up and they think it's ok to make a mess. And you let it sit instead you should put everything in order the moment it's out of place, without letting it accumulate.

Me: You know, I have tried that a couple of times, because contrary to popular opinion I do like a clean and tidy house and I WOULD like it to stay lovely and nearly perfect at all times. However I realized that if I wanted to go after every magazine, every toy, every piece of clothing, every cup that wasn't exactly where it belonged I would do nothing else all day. And that would be pretty sad. I prefer to let some stuff slip and spend some time drawing with Stella or making a puzzle with Sarah or checking my e-mail or reading a bit during the day. Granted, sometimes I could spend more time cleaning but there is no chance that I will try to run after every bit of mess made through the day. With a toddler in the house, I would eventually be go completely bananas.

Him: Which brings us to your toddler. You are sending the message that it is ok for her to make a mess and also she does pretty much whatever she wants.

Me (starting to get defensive at criticism of my parenting): I don't think I do that. But she's a toddler AND she is very stubborn, so there is a lot of stuff she'd like to do her way that I may not like during the day, so I try to pick my battles. I think if I tried to win on everything she would fight me on everything. So I prioritize. I prefer having her eating fruits and veg and sleeping in her crib to her not doing that but also not ever taking her toys out. Even if I didn't I'm not entirely sure that can be a accomplished with a 2-year old. But I do work on teaching her to put it away.

Anyway, this continued for over an hour and after the above it included examples of people who "let their children run wild" and how that eventually bit them in the a**, and a now less-than-veiled accusation that not only I am setting a bad example and doing my family a disservice, but that my life is actually out of balance because I am messy. At which point I started to get annoyed at what I felt was an uninformed and unfair judgment (afterall, we spend together 3 weeks out of a year). So I said this to him and I'd say it again:

I cook 90% of our food from scratch, using mostly organic products, unrefined foods and good-quality ingredients.
I read books, do research, read labels, buy the best food I can find so that my family enjoys a nutritious diet virtually free of pesticides, hormones, antibiotics, preservatives, colorants and synthetic ingredients.
I make a weekly menu and shopping list every single week so that we we have a balanced diet and also save money by buying exactly what we need so nothing goes to waste.
I buy almost exclusively wooden toys and I'm subscribed to the newsletter about product recalls so I can avoid buying items that are harmful in some way.
These are some of the things I do, and they don't make me perfect, but I think they are important things to do and I am doing them.
I'm messy, and I am not proud of that, I know I have to handle it, and I haven't given up on getting better on that, but I also think it is now being blown out of proportion in terms of how important it is to the survival and well-being of my family.

My house is livable and comfortable, it doesn't smell bad, there are no cockroaches or rats or other disgusting creatures running around, there are no broken doors, broken furniture, broken appliances, ripped curtains or old mangy pillows in it. Some rooms are often messy, some only sometimes. I don't obsess over it but that doesn't mean I like it either.

It is easy to judge someone else's parenting skills, relationship, behavior from the outside - but the truth is that we never know if we would really do better in their place, because we are not living their life.

And to be completely honest Dad, I don't want to hurt you, but I am not sure that you and mom would do a better job if my life was yours. You might or you might not, but the truth here is that when you have a lot of balls in the air one or two will fall very often, and I feel like there are worse balls I could be dropping.


In the end, I said we'd have to agree to disagree and that it was late and we should go to bed. But this conversation bothered me. Because to me, the "we are proud of you" now rings oh so false.

You think I'm being a baby? Go ahead and say it. I already admitted that more often than not, unless the criticism comes from my mom, I couldn't care less.

But if you are going to say that you agree with my dad and being messy makes me a bad mom, then I have two words for you: BITE ME.

The road to mess is paved with good intentions

My daughter Sarah has been staying in Italy with her grandparents for the past 3 weeks. Tomorrow, she is flying back (yay!). My dad is flying with her, and he will be staying with us for a little over a week - which means I have to get the guestroom ready.

Now, our guestroom is in the basement, which is where the trouble starts. And before you scrunch up your face in disgust and shock that I could put my father in the basement, you should know that our basement is fully finished and has recently been renovated, including new walls, new paint job, completely new floors, thank you very much. It looks very pretty. But being my house, it's also pretty messy. Because, let's face it: as pretty as it is, it's still the basement. It's still the place where we relegate the stuff we have no space, time or inclination to store upstairs.

So I set out today to declutter my basement and sort everything so that the largest room of the two could be turned back into what it was always meant to be, a guest room/playroom. But a few hours in, it doesn't look pretty at all. It looks like a basement.

And you know why? Because in addition to being messy, I save stuff. I set aside clothing and toys to be donated, boxes for recycling, baby clothes that are too small for my cousin in Italy who is having a baby at the end of the month, and so on. I am not a hoarder, I don't buy more than I need, my basement isn't full of stuff I bought that was never used - but it's full of stuff that I don't want to throw away because it seems like a waste. It's all nicely organized and separated, but it's a lot of stuff. I'm telling you, being eco-friendly and messy - not a good combination sometimes. I mean, look where my good intention have gotten me right now: lots of piles of stuff.

And on top of it, where am I while this needs to be done? At the computer, taking a break - not necessarily a well-deserved one, since I haven't gotten a whole lot done today aside from my weekly menu and shopping list, but hey, I have already come out of the closet as a major procrastinator so why lie about it? (I can hear a little voice saying "Pride, girl. Pride.")

So - at this point I would normally make a list of things I want to get done, but today I'm a little afraid of going there, for 2 reasons:

1. it might get out of hand and I might spend more time than I should on the list - sometimes I can get carried away, with the breaking down, and the bulleted items and all... because I'm a freak like that.

2. I'm afraid to jinx it. Because somehow, when I make detailed plans for something it often ends up not happening. Now, this usually applies mostly to diets, but hey, I can't afford to risk it now. Normally if I can't get something done when I'm expecting guests I can take the remaining mess to one room and make sure THAT door isn't open for any reason whatsoever for the duration of the visit. But that's when the guests are only here for a few hours - my dad is staying 10 days, which means the whole house needs to be livable, walkable and showable, which means I'll have no space to hide anything especially since he is staying in the bloody basement!!

Oh goody, I'm getting freaked out. That will help. Now, I hate to do this, but I think I only have one choice now. I will have to ask myself that dreaded question: what would the FlyLady do? And don't say babysteps, I hate the stupid babysteps! And I'm not putting on lace-up shoes, either.

I know! There is an emergency cleaning checklist in the book. Let's see: blah, blah, blah... oh, there: Marathon Clean - if you really have to:
1. Go get dressed all the way to shoes, hair fixed and moisturized and makeup put on. Yeah, I'll get right on that. Come on!

Ok, the rest lists out kitchen, timer, coffee break, bathroom... yeah, ok. Off I go. Wish me luck!

P.S. And you know what else I saw when I was looking for the emergency cleaning checklist? The FLYLady's 11 commandments. I had highlighted "4. Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked by the computer". Yeah, sure. I'm never going to be able to follow that one.

The messy organizing freak: split personality or charming quirk?

For someone so unadept at keeping house, I am surprisingly (some might say annoyingly) neurotic about organizing.

My computer files are organized in folders, sub-folders, sub-subfolders, so are my favorites. My spices are in alphabetical order, with the spice mixes all on one side, separate from the single spices. When I do my grocery shopping I place all produce in one bag, all frozen foods in a separate bag, all refrigerated foods in a third bag and all dry, canned and packaged foods in a fourth. And if I buy any beauty products or toiletries, they go in a small paper bag inside the dry foods bag.

Now, to me this just makes sense, because it makes putting stuff away a piece of cake, and avoiding leaving something that goes in the fridge at the bottom of a bag with dry stuff in it. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm weird. I am messy, I have to actually force myself to put things away every now and then just so I'll be able to find them again, but if anyone helps me put stuff away, they HAVE to put it exactly where it belongs or it irritates me to no end. I should be thankful for any help I can get, right? Instead I prefer having no help to having to move things to the places where I think they belong.

My poor husband, who has been putting up with me for 11 years (I do have some good traits, you know), after almost 2 years in this house still doesn't totally get where everything goes when the dishwasher is unloaded or the groceries are put away. To me it's very simple: the burgundy plates on one pile on the lower shelf - next to them the lavender plates and then the everyday white plates. The chinese tea set, the bowls and the mayan-inspired dinner set on the middle shelf, the white porcelain dinner set and Croatian coffee set on the top shelf obviously, because they are only used for special occasions. What is so difficult about that?

Or the arrangement of pots and pans in the kitchen: frying pans in one pile, pots with one long handle in another, pots with 2 short handles in a third; lids on the higher shelf, baking dishes in the other cabinet (on the opposite side of the kitchen).

I don't know, to me there is a logic to all this - but I guess it isn't apparent to everyone. My friend K. thinks this is where my Virgo personality shows up, my mom thinks I'm just concentrating on the wrong things and thinks that I'm neurotic just for doing a weekly menu and shopping list, but understands some of the organizing points (and questions others). The only one who understands me is my cool aunt Rox, except it has always been sort of an in-joke in the family, how high-maintenance she is because she wants her things just so - so I'm not sure that her support gains me any points.

Meanwhile, in my universe there is a technique to organize just about everything: kitchen cabinets, pantries, closets, drawers, office shelves, computer files... but when it comes to cleaning, my biggest accomplishments are more often done in form of very specific checklists, compiled and typed up, with check boxes and bulleted or numbered item lists - afterall, for a messy organizing freak like me, writing a list is almost as good as actually doing the stuff on it. So after all that typesetting is done, and my gorgeous checklist is ready and printed, I'm ready for a break - my new book and a cup of tea are waiting for me on the side table, right next to the comfy sofa where I have my pillows just so.

Being misunderstood can be very tiring.

Do you FLY?

Just because I am an unlikely housewife, doesn't mean I haven't tried to embrace it. I have been trying for years!

Every now and then I get a burst of renewed motivation to become a domestic goddess. Afterall, I tell myself, I'm well organized elsewhere (almost anal-retentive, in fact), a good cook and a decent hostess. Surely I must have it in me to go full circle and become an all-around domestic goddess!?

When this happens, it's like I'm on a mission - something that less-than-vaguely recalls going on a new diet: I find a system that sounds like just the thing for me, get the book, read it cover to cover, get all excited, start, then somewhere between the first week and the second (if I even get that far) I realize that it doesn't really work for me.

Feng shui was the exception: I stuck with that for a couple of months, and my house never looked better - afterall, what better motivation to clean house than to think you are bringing in more money, more love, more friends, better health? I finally felt useful, yay!

Sadly, it only lasted as long as I thought black hat feng shui was the way to go. When I found out that it was a "Westernized, simplistic version of the doctrine that only vaguely resembles the real thing" (as one poo-pooing feng shui practitioner put it) I lost all motivation. I looked into the real thing, but it was way too complicated and it totally turned me off.

I kept hearing about the FLY Lady, so I gave it a try. But it just didn't do it for me. First of all, I lived in Switzerland at the time so the messages arrived at weird times for me. But even without the time zone issue, all the reminders were kind of getting on my nerves already after only a few days. Add to that the fact that she recommends you start your day by "putting on your shoes", (which is a blasphemy in Switzerland, where wearing outside shoes in the house it's frowned upon for hygiene reasons) and I really didn't feel like I could use it.

However many people swear by it, and through the years I tried another couple of times, to no avail. The last time, I decided maybe buying the book was a better way to go, so I got my copy of Sink Reflections, by Marla Cilley, the FLYLady. The book is much more helpful than the e-mails IMO, and I definitely got something out of it. Plus it's always there so you can always give it another go :-)
There were some things I didn't like, i.e. the somewhat abundant religious references, which are an instant turnoff for me generally speaking - but overall the book is helpful so I'm not disappointed.

This is the stuff I got out of it that I think I can use:
- make a list of daily chores: the bare minimum to do every day
- make a list of weekly chores: this list should include things like dusting, vacuuming and changing the bedsheets, but no in-depth cleaning
- divide the house in areas and dedicate 1 week a month to each area; every day spend a little time in that area (in addition to the daily chores)
- make checklists of things that need to be done in the area so you have a guideline and can spend your little time there constructively
- keep all your lists, checklists, areas etc in a binder, somewhere that's easily accessible
- use a timer to help you do things faster: for instance give yourself 15 minutes to unload and re-load the dishwasher
- when you need to do "emergency cleaning" (like when you are expecting visitors and the place is a mess) work for 45 minutes, using your timer and making mini-projects, and rest for 15 minutes every hour; also, change area every so often to avoid "area burnout" and to make sure you spend some time everywhere
- don't hold on to stuff: make sure you regularly get rid of anything that is broken or simply not being used

The daily vs. weekly, zones, checklists, binder and de-cluttering I already had from my "feng shui period", but the rest is new to me and very good IMO. My favourite thing I think is the concept of "hot spot": you know those pesky areas that just seem to attract clutter? Come on, think: every house has them. For us it's the coffee table, the office desk and the pillows under the bay window in the kitchen. Marla recommends that you hit your hot spots regularly to make sure they are clutter-free.

Now, onto the hard part: actually DOING the stuff. Right now I'm still at the "emergency cleaning" stage, and trying to implement dailies.
I tell you, it's really like yo-yo dieting: if you are an all-or-nothing person, the plan either fits you perfectly or it's just extremely hard to keep motivated to follow it.

I was wondering if I might get more out of the book that inspired Marla Cilley, Sidetracked Home Executives, when I read this review:
"If you are a SHE because you're a frozen perfectionist, someone who never cleans because you don't have time to do it RIGHT, this is not the book for you. The card-file is wonderful - except that I'm entirely capable of spending the next 6 months making sure I've got the file system perfect without ever actually doing any of the stuff on it."
Boy, that sure sounds like me. I guess I'll stick with what I have!